Baby, I'm bad news…

I got a phone call from my mom this morning.  And guess what?  They pulled Grandma’s tube out today.  And she got to eat.  Epic.

I don’t tend to get all religious on my blog.  Hell, I don’t tend to get as religious in my life as I used to, or probably should still be.  I am a pretty lazy Christian.  And the downside to dating an atheist for two and a half years?  Sometimes you start to doubt.

But you guys.  This lady had everything wrong with her.  And honestly, I thought we were pretty much saying goodbye Friday night.  And a mere three days later she is breathing on her own, and eating food, and I can hardly believe it’s real.  Every time my mom calls I am waiting for the bad news, but it doesn’t come, and that is so awesome.

Tonight I have cleaned up around the house, taken a bubble bath, and now I’m catching up on another episode of Supernatural.  The assistant is back at work tomorrow, and we have a lot of catch up work to do.

So after my post on Thanksgiving things kinda fell apart, which is awesome.  Except for not.  I got a phone call on Friday from my mom, as I was settling into my couch with a cold, preparing to hole up for the weekend.  Not so.

My grandma was being moved back to the ICU and intubated, with a whole hoard of new diagnoses, and things did not look… optimistic.  I didn’t want to risk making her sicker, and didn’t yet know that with the breathing tube she couldn’t catch my cold, so I stayed home.  At 2 I received a call from Other Brother, and drove out to the hospital.  I’ve spent my weekend back and forth between sick in bed, and next to my grandma who was sick in bed.

The good news. Her xrays look great, her labs are better, her breathing is really good, and they have been slowly but surely decreasing the settings on her vent since yesterday afternoon.  I’m going in to work several hours late tomorrow because they are doing a breathing trial in the morning, taking her off the vent completely.  It’s been a really hard ride, and there are several times I didn’t think she would pull through, but her doctors are all saying they think that she will be back to normal soon, as long as she doesn’t try to rush her progress.  She wants that tube out!

(She’s so cute!)

Today while she was sleeping I took the opportunity to try on the coolest glasses ever:

Seriously, guys.  They cover my whole face. I want a pair.

Now I’m at home, waiting for a friend to get off work, listening to music.  The dogs are eating, the house is clean and bright with Christmas lights, and pumpkin bread is cooling on the stove.  Could be a worse evening.  Fingers crossed for the trial tomorrow.

Happy Thanksgiving, my lovelies.

Today I find myself thankful for two things, specifically.

First, I am thankful for my Grandma’s health.  I received a phone call on Tuesday night from my mom, frantic, because my grandma wasn’t breathing well.  My mom had to bang on her apartment door, and then eventually have the apartment manager let her in.  Grandma was taken to the hospital in an ambulance, and was blue in the face when I got there.  Now she’s doing well, has been downgraded to a regular med/tele bed, and will be going home soon, I should think.

Good news there.

Also thankful for Brother, who is celebrating his 25th birthday in Afghanistan today.  Happy Birthday, Cpl Bryan T. Curry!

Hope you all have a wonderful, uneventful holiday!

From here.

Outside my window… everything is quiet, and peaceful, under a mini blanket of snow.
I am thinking… too much, and not about enough.  Thoughts are racing in my head right now, and I wish I knew how to let them go.
I am thankful for… the luxury of not having to drive to and from work tomorrow.  I’m nervous about new things, though, so I’m hoping the train ride I take goes as planned.
From the kitchen… I am out of groceries.  Except for the ingredients to make pepper soup.  I was going to make that for a friend this week, but now I’m not sure?
I am wearing… white flannel pj bottoms with pink/fushia stripes, and a white waffle shirt with pink and purple flowers on it.
I am creating… not a damn thing.  I am for suck.
I am going… hopefully to see The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet’s Nest with Angela this week, if I can ever finish the book!
I am reading… The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet’s Nest by Stieg Larsson
I am hoping… that I will stop feeling so lonely soon.
I am hearing… people on the street, laughing.
Around the house… it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.  I know.  I couldn’t wait.
One of my favorite things… is riding the Light Rail, and I get to ride it to the train station tomorrow!
A few plans for the rest of the week: No plans, as of yet.  Not even really sure what I’m doing for Thanksgiving.
Here is picture for thought I am sharing..

I have had a very busy day.  It’s been alternately wonderful, and anxiety producing.  It’s probably because I didn’t run yesterday, OR today.  So tomorrow I really need to make an effort to get my behind out of the house, and over to Angela’s to use the treadmill.

Although.  Although.

(It’s supposed to snow.)

I kind of hope it does.  Every other time it has snowed I am always thinking about how it negatively impacts my schedule, and it stresses me out.  However, this time?  I have a plan.  Which of course, probably means it won’t snow.  Isn’t that how it always works?

Either way, I don’t like to drive in the snow.  But I have to work tomorrow.  So if it snows, I shall walk a couple of blocks to the light rail, and ride it for free to the train station, where I will take the train to Auburn, and work.  It’s fool proof.  So, like I said, tomorrow will probably be the start of a heat wave.

Either way, back to my day:

I had this urge, this uncontrollable urge, to decorate my Christmas tree this weekend.  Up until last year, I had always waited until after Thanksgiving.  This was my rule, and I followed it very strictly.  I didn’t want to wait, though, so this morning found me driving out to Gig Harbor to pick up my tree from my mom’s storage shed.  While I was out there, Geoff and I went to breakfast at McDonald’s, and then took a quick side trip to Target.  I bought some hooks to hang my wreaths.  I have two, you see, and decided that I would hang one in the hall closet, and one on my front door.  But I’m waiting to hang my front door wreath.  Until after Thanksgiving.  I don’t want my neighbors to think I am weird.

I made a quick trip to Fuego at the mall, once I got back to Tacoma.  A coworker had a birthday on Thursday, and I needed to get a present and a card.  I got both, as well as a pair of super cute earrings for myself.

I got my hair cut.  It’s different than what she’s been doing.  But I think I like it.  Maybe a little bit longer in the back next time, but I do like it.

What do you think?  (And don’t you like those earrings? Fuego.)

I spoke to Brother on the phone today while I set up my Christmas tree.  We talked Christmas. I miss that kid. I can not wait until he comes home.

I met my mom at Taco Bell because she bought me some of those boots from Old Navy.

Funny story about those boots from Old Navy:

Okay, I love boots.  Love them.  I have had several pairs of Fuggs, as I call them, before I finally got a pair of real Uggs, which I have worn religiously every fall/winter since I got them in 2007.  I want a pair of gray ones.  But nevermind.  So I was on the phone with W the other night, and he asked if I was gonna get some of those whatever they’re called boots from Old Navy.  Apparently they’ve been all over TV? And then my mom tells me she has a present for me.  And it was those boots from Old Navy.  Mine are kind of a bronzey color.

I’ve come home, decorated my tree, eaten dinner, and am watching When Harry Met Sally.

So, first and foremost, I think that I need to have these pictures taken by someone who is not sitting below me.  While I love that my boss does this for me, I think it accentuates my hips in a most unflattering manner.  And also, I’ve gained five pounds.  Ugh.

I had to crop the hell out of this one, because a coworker was in the background, who I assume does not wish to be immortalized forever on babyimbadnews.net.

Striped tshirt with sewn on necklace: Anne Taylor Loft, around $15
Gray skirt: The Gap, around $9
The WORST nylons ever: Leggs, a three or four pack for $7.  Yuck.
Gold moccasins: The Gap, around $20

Also, I desperately need a haircut I can not afford.  But eek.  It’s bad.

So today was very long.  And kind of sucked.  Not that anything inherently bad happened.  I just have a lot to get done, and I feel like I’m not getting it done.  And I was anxious.  So I decided that I need to go running.  And then I did.

I’m quite proud.  Angela and I went down to Ruston and ran/walked for an hour.  And I felt much calmer.  And the burn.  So that was awesome.

Things I want to change this week:
Don’t drink Diet Coke in the morning.
Limit myself to one caffeinated beverage, a Starbuck’s Via (lame, I know), at work.
Cook more/eat at home more.
Run everyday, either at the park with Angela or on her treadmill once she goes to Prague.

And sleep more.

Kbye.  I’m off to watch tv, and maybe make something to eat before we lose power like everyone else.  Epic windstorm.  Epic.

Two songs I can absolutely relate to right now:

and

When do you think things will be more normal?  I miss being a student blogger.  I used to be able to talk about anything.  Now, as I’ve gotten older, I feel much more wary of putting things online in this public forum.  But at the same time I get sad that I don’t have very many readers or commenters anymore.  I guess you can’t have it both ways.  I’m still looking for that fine line.

(BTW?  That One Republic song kills me!  So much passion in his voice!  And it helps that it totally makes me think of Chuck & Blaire.  Love.  And Mumford and Sons?  Kills me in a completely different way.  Reminds me of someone.)

Who ever knows anything anymore?  I sure as hell don’t.  I don’t know who I am.  I don’t know where I am going.  I don’t know what I want.

And I guess that’s not entirely true.  In a grand scheme, if you look over the course of a lifetime, I know all of these things.  I am a caring, emotional, at times unfairly manipulative person.  I can be selfish often, but I am also incredibly selfless.  I would do anything or give anything of myself to a friend or family in a time of need.  I am very forgiving.  You don’t even need to apologize if you hurt me.  All you have to do is act like normal, and I am back, past transgressions forgotten.  I have high standards for the people in my life.  But I also hold myself to those same high standards.  I expect the best from everyone.  I am loyal.  I am nurturing.  I am smart, but sometimes I let people convince me I am not.  I am kind of emotionally needy, but I am also willing to be very emotionally giving.

I am going back to school.  I am going to get my Master’s.  I am going to open a private practice.  I am going to get in better physical shape.  Someday.

I want a boyfriend.  I want a boyfriend who can be here, in close physical proximity to me.  I want a boyfriend who is my best friend, who makes me laugh, who may not enjoy what I enjoy but humors me anyway.  And then I will do the same.  I want a partner.  I want a family someday.  I want to get married.  I want to have a more active social life than I currently do.  I want to be the kind of person who is rejuvenated by being around people, but I don’t know if I ever will be.  I want more free time.  I want a shorter commute.  I want time to pursue my hobbies, or even to find out what my hobbies really are.  I want… lots.

But in terms of right now?  Right this very second.  This day, week, month.  I have no idea who I am, where I am going, or what I want.  It’s very frustrating.  So all I really want to do, I guess, is take a nap.  And/or a bubble bath.  I would move into my bathtub if I could.

For someone who likes absolute and complete control of her life, this last week has been incredibly challenging for me.  A personal relationship has been incredibly rocky lately, and a decision was made to step back from that relationship at this time.  It’s not been easy for either one of us, so that has been challenging.  Admittedly, it has probably been less easy for him, though.  It’s hard, and it makes it difficult to figure out where I am in life, and what we are, and are going to continue to be to each other.

My job is kind of a challenge as well, and not something that I can talk about here, of course.  But I’ve been working funny, off hours, trying to get a lot of big projects finished by next week.  I look forward to going back to my regular 9-5 routine.  In a perfect world, I enjoy swing shift.  But the fact is, at my job this really isn’t an option.  And when I do work the occasional swing shift I feel like I miss out on so much at work.

Joe just had a birthday.  He is 13, and we are going to see Jackass 3D for his birthday.  I was supposed to go to work today, but am going in tomorrow now, instead, so I may take him tonight.  I need sleep, though.  I’m very lazy.

Angela found a dog.  I gave it to my boss.  I’ll post a picture sometime that’s not right now.